Attention all Space Travellers



Fasten your seatbelts; you are about to land on Planet America. Thank you for travelling Air Uranus and welcome to the land of the free.



Ok, now all Marxist, Communist, Maoist, and Socialist tree-swingers – listen up!


So, during the cold war, we divided the third world and forced most of them into unfair trade and tariffs agreements … Ok, so we may have occasionally interfered with the body-politic of some countries. Ok then, perhaps we sponsored a few coup détats here and there: Chile, Nicaragua, Venezuela … OK OK, the whole South American Continent, Africa, Asia … So what! We are on a crusade against evil.


Those on the lunatic fringes of the proletariat claim that when the small agricultural country of Vietnam quoted from our Declaration of Independence, to justify its own, that we burned their rice fields with napalm and bombed them back to the Stone Age.

This may be true, but then, we were only helping our friends the French reclaim what was rightfully theirs, all along: the whole of Indochina. Give us a break!


We also stopped the dreaded domino-effect and prevented Vietnam from launching a major attack against mainland America, didn’t we? Too bloody right we did!  


Let me tell you why we have a military presence in 132 of the 191 countries of the UN – you won’t read that in your little red book or in the manifesto of Mad Marx. Yes, tree swingers, that’s right! It is to protect democracy and freedom, to shield the world from evil and to rid OUR planet of all wickedness and communists. In short, to look after your interests ... yes people, your interests …work with me here!


The radicals on the extreme left will tell you otherwise. They claim that we are the only nation in history to have ever dropped atomic bombs on civilian populations.

They argue that even if the first bomb was justified, that the second was an abomination. Well … we won didn’t we? It shortened the war and saved many of our soldiers lives, didn’t it?


Some nutty university professors believe that our invasion of Korea was uncalled-for, allrightee then, but as soon as the Chinese got on board, we pulled back and sacked General Macarthur, didn’t we? Well didn’t we? They claim that going into Granada was unpardonable – hello, so our elderly President [Reagan] may have received some bad advice from his clairvoyant, so what! No harm done ... was there? Settle …settle.


They go on and on with this blame game, should not have gone into PanamaIraqSaudi ArabiaHaitiCubaAfghanistan … should not have given Apache attack-helicopters and nuclear technology to Israel. What will they blame us for next: Acid Rain, Global Warming, Globalization, Ozone Depletion, McDonalds, Tsunamis, Chikungunya …? What is wrong with these people?

Get a grip Loonies! Don’t you know that we are the world’s only superpower? Ok we may harbor hegemonic ambitions, but we are on the side of good and, we want OUR world to be free and democratic. Sure, we may have to drop a few bombs on you now and again … to liberate you, but hey, rest assured that we only have your best interests at heart – have faith people.


Trust us, the more prosperous and powerful we become, the more benefit YOU will derive from the trickle down effect. You know, yes you do … the bit about greed being moderated by greed – until it spills over to you mob. Great, isn’t? Too right!


Don’t listen to the prophets of doom, when they tell you that our current foreign policy of pre-emption and laser-guided missile programs will plunge the world into the abyss of Armageddon. What nonsense!

Don’t listen to them, it’s only leftist propaganda. Naaahh! It will never happen …  



All the way with G Dubya

God bless our America – I say.





Kindly turn the lights out as you leave the Planet.




Alain Leveque

Rodrigues Island